Just to See
by courtneylc82
Summary: Chapter 5 is up! After Nick and Jess share a big moment, what comes next? Nick asks Jess to take a little time to think about what she wants, but he warns he won't disappear while she decides. Takes over where Cooler left off, spoilers included!
1. Chapter 1

Jess jerked out of sleep so quickly, someone may as well have screamed in her ear. Her heart was racing and her blankets were twisted around her legs, pinning her to the bed awkwardly. She was clammy and a little shaky, but her bedroom, and the loft for that matter, was perfectly quiet. The soft light that filtered through her curtains told her it was still early, so she searched her sleep fogged brain for the reason she had jolted awake so sharply.

_Last night. True American. Trenchcoat Nick. _She was suddenly crystal clear as to why she was up, and panicking, so early in the day. Truth be told, she hadn't slept at all until Sam left just before 5 a.m. for early rounds. She had lain in bed, flushed with excitement, anxiety and confusion while her boyfriend slumbered on, unbothered. She had only managed to drift off for a short nap when she was finally left alone with her thoughts.

_What had gotten into him? _For the ten thousandth time, Jess relived the baffling, incredible midnight encounter.

"_Well, I guess the old Nick is back!"_ she had teased after the door had shut on their angry neighbor, now one garment richer.

"_Yeah, I'm gonna miss Trenchcoat Nick. He was pretty great!" Nick laughed. "I liked him, he had guts."_

He looked at her with those last words, and the air between them changed just a little. He was smiling, but there was a drop of sadness, the smallest breath of regret in his words too.

She nervously tried to diffuse the moment. _"It was a woman's coat." _They both chuckled, and the knot in her stomach relaxed a bit. "_Goodnight Nick."_

"_Goodnight." _He had barely finished bidding her to sleep, and she had barely made a move toward her room when he reached out and grabbed the crook of her elbow. There was no teasing in his touch, he wasn't testing the water, and in a breathless whirl of a moment, he had spun her to face him, pulled her close and wrapped both his arms around her small, trembling frame. She didn't think, she didn't say anything and for some reason, she didn't hesitate, not for a second. When his lips crashed into hers, she gave everything over to the kiss, sliding her arms around his neck and pulling herself as close as she could get. Her brain was humming, little glimmers of light popped behind her eyes, but her shock barely registered. All that mattered was this searing moment and the buzz of excitement and passion that gushed up inside her the second Nick touched her arm. After a few desperate moments, the kiss slowed and Nick pulled back just a fraction of an inch. His forehead touched hers and they both heaved a few shaky breaths before Nick dipped his head again and kissed her lightly once, twice. He pulled back in earnest and Jess came back to herself a bit. Eyes round with surprise, breathing heavily, Jess looked Nick full in the face. What she saw gave her goosebumps. He didn't look embarrassed or confused by what had just happened. He didn't look smug or cocky. He didn't look goofy or awkward or regretful. He looked determined.

"_I meant something like that."_ His voice was soft and rough but very, very sure. A chill swept over her at his words and she couldn't do anything but gape at him as he retreated to his room and closed the door firmly.

She brought a quaking hand to her face, which was boiling hot and touched the place where Nick's hand had been, not even a minute before. Jess barely even heard Sam come out of the room and ask if he could move her homemade Nick dummy into the hall. She mumbled something noncommittal and staggered to bed, immediately rolling over and feigning sleep. In the dark, her mind whirred, playing what had just happened over and over. _Why now? What does it mean? Why didn't I even pause before diving in with him? _She felt like Sam's snoring presence in her bedroom was a cold, offensive intrusion. She felt guilty for wanting him gone, but she was desperate to pour over her feelings privately with a very fine, honest mental comb. When he did leave for the hospital, she was relieved and after some heart racing analysis, finally drifted off.

But her slumber was short lived and here she was, tangled in her sheets, fit to burst with thoughts, feelings and sharp worry. She extricated herself from the origami she awoke beneath and pulled on some jeans and her softest blue fleece. She wanted to feel swaddled in something familiar as she tried to piece all this together. She pushed open her door and saw that the kitchen was mercifully empty. She made some tea, lemon not chamomile, because she wanted something invigorating. Sitting at the table, facing away from Nick's door and the confusion it concealed, she combed her fingers through her sleep rumpled hair absentmindedly as her tea steeped. The first sip was too hot and scalded her throat on the way down. She waited another minute before trying again and had drained about half her mug when she heard his voice.

"_Hey."_

Her stomach clenched and she whipped around to look at him too quickly. Her tea spoon clattered to the ground with a startling bang and she smashed her elbow on the table in her haste to retrieve it. Pain shot through her arm and her eyes watered. Nick took a step toward her and she jumped. Hurt, he stopped in his tracks, a few feet from where she was sitting.

"No, it's fine, sit. I'm sorry, just a little skittish this morning, I didn't sleep well. You know how in college when you pulled an all-nighter, the next morning you felt like your outline was kinda blurry and your skin vibrated with exhaustion? Well, that's how I feel. I'm sophomore year Jess!" she finished her crazy little rant with a lame smile.

"Yeah, I feel you on that one. I'm in the same boat," Nick said. He tried to smile back, but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked at her evenly. It was clear they weren't going to small talk around this one. There would be no spit polishing to round off the edges. No avoiding each other until the intensity died down. Their shared moment, the one she had wondered about for months, waited for and feared, was front and center.

He sat down and they both turned their chairs so they could look at each other. He still had on that t-shirt from last night, but had pulled on jeans and tamed his bed head. She nervously smoothed her tangled locks and moved her tea between them on the table; a tiny ceramic barrier.

"So," Jess started, sounding braver than she felt. "You surprised me last night."

"I surprised myself. I usually don't go through with my grand plans."

Jess felt her face heat up, wondering how long he had this in mind. She looked into his eyes and saw her own confusion mirrored there; and perhaps a hint of the same hope that was tugging at her gut.

"Jess, I'm going to go ahead and get this out, and if you wouldn't mind, I need to just keep going until I'm done. Is that ok?"

Jess nodded mutely, but didn't look away from his eyes, which had darkened just a shade.

"So last night started out normal. You trying to be my wing-woman with Holly and all your schemes ending up hallmark cooler moments, we've been there before. It wasn't even that weird when everyone was trying to make us kiss, because True American has always had this kind of manic energy that everyone feeds off of. But when we were locked in your room, things started to shift. There were a couple moments when I thought, maybe we were both headed somewhere new, but then I panicked and jumped out the window like an idiot. When I went to sleep later, I just felt like such a moron, such a coward for not standing still and just seeing, you know? So when it was just you and me in the hall, all of the sudden it was too much. I couldn't crawl back to my room while you cuddled up to Dr. Sam without at least letting you know that I had my own idea of what it should be like between us. You know, not egged on by our dumbass friends, but just you and me, on our own."

Jess was drinking in his words which we warming her from the inside out. She was holding her breath but urged him to go on with a barely perceptible nod.

"I've been thinking about what happened all night, doubt I slept more than 30 minutes. That moment, for me, was electric. And I don't think I'd ever forgive myself if I didn't try for more. So here's what I'm proposing. If you are totally against this, and horrified by what happened, tell me now. But if you aren't sure, take a week and see how you feel. I know you are with Sam, and I promise not to pressure you to come to a decision or anything like that while you're thinking about it. But I can't promise that I'll leave you completely alone either. Because, let's face it; that kiss, needs repeating.

Jess drew in a quick breath and felt it hitch in her chest. Her cheeks flushed, her lips burned and suddenly she couldn't look right at him.

Nick let out a ragged breath, and for the first time all morning, looked a little shaky. "So what do you say? Is this the last time we talk about this? Or do you want to take some time?"

Jess gripped her mug and stared into the dregs at the bottom. She wasn't looking for an answer; she was just looking for strength. She cleared her throat and looked up into the face of the man who had haunted her thoughts all night, and if she was honest with herself, for many nights previous.

"Ok, yeah. A week sounds good. Just to think and, you know, see."

Nick grinned for the first time, but his smile quickly faded into something more serious. He scooted closer to Jess and before she even knew what was happening, he had rested his elbow on the back of her chair and slid his fingers into her hair. She flinched but didn't pull away as he tugged on a few silky strands and wound them around his fingers. Tingles shot through her entire body and she had to stifle a little whimper that threatened to escape her.

"You know," Nick said so quietly it was almost a whisper. "Last night may have been our first kiss, but I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to touch you, hold you, even just push a loose curl behind your ear, just like this. I meant what said earlier Jess, I'll let you figure things out this week. But I'm not going to disappear."

With that, Nick closed the tiny space between them, pushed her hair off her shoulder and pressed his lips to the pulse that frantically beat against her neck. Jess couldn't help it, a tiny sigh fluttered out and her eyes closed as she tilted to give him a better angle. When Nick pulled back his eyes were cloudy with passion and she had to assume she looked just the same.

"I'm going to grab some more sleep," Nick said. "See you later Jess."

"See you later Nick."

Jess watched him take the same path to his room he had walked last night, and as the door shut behind him, she had to stop herself from pulling it open again.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ok, beyond time for a shower."

After her restless night, intense early morning conversation and late nap, Jess was not looking her best. Her hair was wild, her eyes were bloodshot and she now had a giant sleep crease cemented into her cheek. She gave her reflection in the mirror a reproachful look. _I haven't been out partying, but I look like a morning-after bachelorette. _Shaking her head, she grabbed her bathrobe and bolted for the sweet refuge of the shower stall.

As she stood under the nearly scalding stream of water and over lathered up with a ridiculously perfumed shower gel called _Peonies from Heaven_, she couldn't seem to push away a little surge of excitement. _I'm just taking a week to see. Nothing thrilling about that. I don't even really know what Nick wants, and I sure as hell don't know what I want. _

She closed her eyes and thought about Sam with a little pang. She really liked him. His romantic gesture at the Christmas party, coming back for her, pleading for another chance, was a big deal. She had felt giddy that night. So why, oh why did she feel giddy _now_? After two ill advised, stolen moments with one of her closest friends, she should feel guilty and abashed. She should be laughing awkwardly with Nick right now; both of them pledging to forget the kiss entirely. They'd chalk it up to alcohol and adrenaline. But that hadn't happened. Her formerly hapless friend, Nick Miller who never did _anything_, had calmly told her he wanted a little bit more. He asked her to take her time and search her soul and promised he'd be ready to listen when she was ready to talk.

Suddenly, she felt a little flare of anger. This really wasn't fair. She had been going along nicely with Sam. He was funny and nice to her friends. He loved children and had a selfless, stable career. He was sweet to her and it was comfortable. _Nick changed it all_, she accused her invisible judge. _But you let him._

Pruned, and more confused than clear, Jess shut off the shower, toweled off and wrapped herself in an overlarge terry cloth robe. She combed out her hair, moisturized, brushed her teeth and fixed her reflection in the mirror with a steely gaze. _Ok, you can handle this, don't be weird. _

Winston, Schmidt and Nick were all in the kitchen, but both Daisy and Holly had already made their way home. It was just the four of them again, just like any other Sunday. She hot footed it back to her room to change, raising her hand to wave at the boys en route when Schmidt shouted across the loft.

"Hey Jess, we're having a little roommate meeting about a field trip scheduled for later today, can you please join us?"

"Yeah, hang on, let me grab some clothes, just a sec," Jess prattled. She hustled for her door, but caught Nick's eye first. He gave her a tiny, reassuring smile and for the first time all day, she felt better about the long week she was staring down. _This could be ok._

"Now that we are all assembled, I must first chastise and then propose a solution," Schmidt declared loftily.

Jess smiled and Nick and Winston shifted irritably in their seats. Wisely though, they all stayed quiet.

"We are not animals. When one of us devours a kitchen staple like, I don't know, salt or olive oil or mustard or _organic ground flax seed_, I would think it was obvious that person should replace said item. Unlike a disgusting bag of single serving Cheetos, these are things we all use on a daily basis. But alas, our cupboards are practically bare! I am a busy man, and while I attempt to keep pace with you hyenas when it comes to grocery shopping, I'm no superhero. So this afternoon, we will be traveling 45 miles north to a new, incredible super-store called _Nexxt_. It is one part Whole Foods, for those of us with dignity, and one part Wal-Mart, for the huddled masses. That's you guys," Schmidt clarified.

"Schmidt, look, I get what you are saying, I'm sorry none of us ever shop and you get stuck doing it, but you're just better at it than we are, man! We trust your judgment."

"Flattery will get you nowhere Winstonian," Schmidt said, waving him off. "We're all going, end of story. Be ready in 30 minutes."

Jess opened her mouth to protest, but the other two had already shuffled off resignedly. She didn't really feel like spending an hour each way trapped in the car with Nick and that irritating crackle of electricity that was dogging their every moment together. But what could she do? She grabbed a sweater and her purse and flipped through her phone killing time until the super-store shuttle was set to depart. A little bubble of laugh escaped her as she scrolled through her newly created True American photo album. Winston balancing on the arm of the sofa with a homemade scepter, shirtless Schmidt mugging for the camera, Nick in that damn trench coat pointing and laughing at something out of frame. Jess and Nick's pathetic fake kiss photo that nobody bought, not for a minute. With a little flash of guilt, she remembers how relieved she had been when their stunt had failed, and they were still locked in. She loved spending time with Nick, of course she did, they were friends. But she treasured the time when it was just the two of them. He always looked at her a little differently than he did everyone else. _I guess now I know why._

"Ready?" there was Nick, knocking on her doorframe and shattering her reverie.

"Yep, let's do this Miller." Jess's voice sounded a little strained, but Nick didn't seem to notice. He guided her through the door, a friendly hand on her shoulder. He had done that a thousand times in the year and a half he'd known her, but now her skin burned through her sweater and the light pressure of his palm made her shiver.

"After you," he said simply. But the corners of his mouth tugged up ever so slightly.

The car ride hadn't been as bad as Jess had feared. Nick actually rode shotgun with Schmidt and Winston and Jess were the two crammed in the back. Schmidt kept up a steady commentary the whole way to _Nexxt, _first regaling them with unwanted details of his night with Holly, and then lecturing them on the dangers of non-organic produce. By the time they pulled up at the monstrosity of a store, Jess felt like some of the loft normalcy had been restored.

"Ok, this place is incredible, but according to the _Nexxt_ app I just downloaded, it is also a maze. We are going for the divide and conquer approach. Winston, you and I will take the west quadrant, Nick and Jess, I gave you the easier of the two. Here's your list, call us when you're through."

Nick and Jess didn't even have time to argue. Schmidt had already grabbed a creepy, futuristic shopping cart and set off at a brisk clip, an annoyed Winston trailing behind him. Jess looked numbly at the list Schmidt had thrust into her hand, like it may have a roadmap of how she was supposed to handle this printed on the bottom.

"Well, it looks like it's just you and me kid," Nick said. Jess smiled weakly. "Jess, c'mon, we already had the hard talk earlier. This doesn't have to be super weird, it's us. Why don't we just take some of the pressure out of this and just be ourselves, ok? This is just a normal day shopping at a gigantic warehouse full of bizarre food that you are supposed to pile into sparkly black aerodynamic shopping buggies while enjoying a soundtrack of horrible, piped in house music."

Jess laughed, relieved. Nick was right, this was just another day together, pawns in one of Schmidt's weirdo plans.

"Agreed," Jess said. "So let's tackle this list."

After they dutifully collected a cart full of whole wheat bread, Greek yogurt, kale, green tea extract, raw pumpkin seeds and quinoa, Jess had an idea.

"Hey Nick, you know how Schmidt said this place had junk food too, on the 'Wal-Mart' side?"

"Go on…" Nick said, intrigued.

"Well, wouldn't it be fun to get a second cart and fill it up with everything he hates and act like that's what we shopped for? We can keep the real cart in the shadows and whip it out when he starts hyperventilating."

"Genius Jessica, let's do it."

Nick and Jess grabbed cart number two and set off on their mission.

"Ooh, I've got Star Crunch and Fruit by the Foot," Jess shouted.

"Great, how about this disgusting orange punch?" Nick asked.

"Does it have high fructose corn syrup?"

"First ingredient! I'm getting two." Nick shouted.

"Oh my God, Nick, look at this gigantic tin of SPAM! It is so disgusting!" Jess clapped her hands like a child. It was huge, as big as a dictionary. It was high up, but she stood on her tiptoes and reached, too excited to wait for help.

"Hey Jess, wait I'll grab it, don't jump like that," Nick warned, hustling up the aisle to meet her.

_Aha, got it! _Jess leapt and as her fingers snagged the edge of the tin, two things happened at once. Her exuberant gesture loosened all the tins touching her target, and she lost her balance. As she toppled backward, several heavy containers pelted after her. She hit the ground, put up her hands to shield her face and turned away, but one errant tin caught her on the side of the face and snapped her glasses.

"Ow!" she shrieked as the now broken frame dug into her cheek.

"Oh my God, Jess!" Nick broke into a run and dropped next to her. "Are you ok?!"

"Yeah, I think so," Jess said shakily. Her legs felt like jelly and her cheek stung painfully. "I broke my glasses," she sniffed.

"Ah geez, you're bleeding. He tipped her face up to look at her properly. "Here, I'll take those." As Nick slid her mangled glasses off, Jess froze. His hands were so painstakingly gentle, he barely grazed her temple as he removed them but Jess could barely breathe. "Does anything else hurt?" Nick looked so worried, she couldn't stand it.

"Um, I think I may have twisted my ankle a little, but it's ok," Jess managed to say.

"Ok, come here, we need to grab a first aid kit and doctor that cut. It doesn't look too deep, but you need some disinfectant and a Band-Aid." Before she could process what has happening, Nick gingerly pulled her to her feet and slid a strong arm around her waist. He helped her hobble to a little table at the _Nexxt Generation Café_ and then sped off to find a first aid kit and retrieve their cart.

Jess took a deep breath and tried to banish her racing thoughts. _Is this how it is always going to be now? Every time he gets near me, am I going to dissolve like this?_

"Got it!" Nick was back, proudly brandishing a packet of antibiotic ointment and a Band-Aid.

"Thanks Nick, let me find a mirror…"

"Don't be ridiculous, I've got it. Do you have a hair tie?"

"Uh yeah, here you go," Jess handed him a rubber band from around her wrist. "Do you know how to use one?"

Nick's turtle face reemerged with gusto. "Jess, I may not be a Nobel Laureate, but I think I can manage a hair tie." With that, he stood behind her, gathered her hair up in both hands and deftly swept it into a loose ponytail. Jess touched her head stunned, and Nick appeared grinning on the other side of her. "Not just a hat-rack my friend," he said, tapping his forehead.

"I guess not," Jess laughed.

"Ok, hold still." Nick smoothed a little antibiotic ointment cautiously over Jess's cut, murmuring his apologizes when she sucked in her breath, mostly from pain. Then he gingerly fixed the bandage on her cheek, pressing the adhesive gently so it wouldn't fall off. When he was done, he looked at her with such sincerity she felt her face flush. He reached out and traced a little pattern on her forehead, cheeks and chin and Jess felt prickles of euphoria erupt inside her.

"I'm so sorry you got hurt Jess," Nick whispered, leaning in to place a sweet kiss on her unblemished cheek.

As they made their way to the front of the store, all Jess could think was, _you have no idea._


	3. Chapter 3

After her misadventure at _Nexxt_, Jess actually started to feel a little better. She wasn't as jumpy and though she was still unsettled and unsure about where she stood with Nick, her anxiety started to fade into something infinitely sweeter. She found herself seeking out little moments with Nick. Finding an excuse to scoot a little closer on the couch, laughing with him over something inane Schmidt said, smiling at him shyly over her cereal. She wasn't brave enough or even sure enough to try something brazen, but their small, shared moments were starting to shimmer with a very real energy. It was a little scary, but it was also dizzying.

She still hadn't seen Sam since the big kiss. They'd talked on the phone, but Sam was busy at work, and Jess wasn't ready to make time for him. She felt guilty every time one of his texts came in, but she hadn't sorted out a plan of action. She needed more time. And while she was trying to puzzle it out, her thoughts kept drifting back to her roommate, and the moment that changed everything between them.

It had been three days, but Jess could still feel the shock and wonder of that life-changing kiss. His arms twined around her, his desperate, searching mouth and her complete and total reciprocation. The kiss had gone on for some time, but it had never occurred to her to push him away, to question his motives, or to pull back. She had responded with feverish intensity, like she'd been waiting for this moment all along.

Seventy-two hours later, she was spending a lazy evening in her room. She had eaten dinner, graded papers, gotten her next lesson plan together and was feeling listless. Schmidt was working late, Winston was getting ready for his overnight shift and Nick had just left for the bar. The apartment felt a little cold without him.

_Well, let's remedy that, shall we? I think I'd fancy an after dinner drink._ With a sudden bounce in her step, Jess fluffed her hair and dabbed on a little lip gloss. She grabbed her purse, scrawled a note for Schmidt and was gone.

As she walked through the entrance to the bar, Jess started to get cold feet. _Nick is working; he isn't going to be able to entertain you. After all that's happened, maybe you should just leave him in peace for the night._ Jess nearly turned and bolted, but just then, she caught sight of her favorite, flannel clad bartender. He looked up from the beer stein he'd been filling and spotted her. His eyes brightened and his smile nearly tipped into the grin category as she pulled up a seat.

"Hey you, I'm thirsty," Jess chirped.

"Well Jess, it is 7:30 on a Tuesday, I think you've come to the right place," Nick smiled. "What'll it be?"

"Ya know, I always order the same thing, why don't you pick."

"Done. I'll be right back."

Jess fiddled with her napkin and speared a few maraschino cherries with a plastic cocktail sword while she waited for her drink. Her heart was beating a little faster than normal, but at least she didn't feel paralyzed every time Nick glanced her way. She'd come a long way since Saturday.

"Ok, here you go. It's called a _My Fair Lady_. A famous barman at the Savoy invented it; he made up all kinds of drinks for celebrities and royals. This one is gin, lemon juice, orange juice, strawberry syrup and a hint of egg white."

Jess looked at the pink martini in front of her with a sense of wonder. "Nick, this is seriously cool. You combined a cocktail, one of my favorite colors and musical theater in one metal shaker!"

Nick laughed as she took her first sip. "I was a little heavy handed with the pour, so take your time with that one." As Jess reached for her purse, Nick shook his head briskly. "Not tonight. I got it. It's the perfect drink for you, and I want to be the one responsible." Nick gave her a wink and bustled off to help an impatient group on the other side of the bar.

Jess smiled as she sipped her cocktail which was as tasty as it was pretty to look at. Every time Nick got a break in the action, he would slide over to where she was sitting and entertain her with a bar story or point out some crazy regular. They didn't usually hang out at the bar just the two of them, and Jess was loving every second of it. By 10 p.m., she had drained two _My Fair Ladies_ and was starting to feel pleasantly light-headed.

She wanted to freshen up, so she grabbed her purse, mouthed _"bathroom" _to Nick and scooted off to reapply lip gloss and give herself the once over. _This is fun. _ She mused as she washed her hands. _This is the kind of fun I'd like to have more often. Maybe Nick and I should just go for it._ Just the thought sent a little jolt of possibility down her spine. She bounded out of the bathroom to coax another martini out of Nick when something unwelcome caught her eye. Her drink glass had been shoved down a few spaces to make room for the tall, slender girl now perched in her seat. The intruder was probably a year or two younger than Jess and was leaning so far over the bar, she was practically whispering in Nick's ear. Jess felt a cold, damp weight press down on her chest as she took in this girl's tight pencil skirt, flawlessly tucked in blouse and gleaming chignon. She was chatting animatedly with Nick as he refilled her glass. Jess could only watch as she touched his arm, rolled her eyes at him playfully and slid her card across the bar until it touched Nick's fingertips. Nick smiled good-naturedly and pocketed it, plinking an extra olive in her glass before turning away to help another customer.

Jess felt numb as she fumbled with her purse. She dropped it twice before she got a grip on herself.

"Nick, I'm out," she managed to say as she threw his tip on the bar.

"Uh, ok, everything all right?" Nick said, clearly confused.

"Peachy, I'll see you later."

Jess stomped up to the loft in high dudgeon and wrenched her bedroom door open so hard it rattled the jamb. She stepped out of her clothes, jumped into her pajamas, and dove into bed. _I'm jealous_. The thought enraged her almost as much as the bar scene she had witnessed. As needled as she was by what had just transpired, the two, strong cocktails she had downed were taking their toll. Half on top of the covers and propped up by a mound of pillows, Jess surrendered to sleep.

_It is not even close to morning, why am I up? And why am I in so much pain?_

Jess cracked her eyelids and saw that it was 2:11 a.m. _Nick's shift just ended._ She scowled at herself for thinking that, and focused instead on the blinding pain in her neck. _Oh geez, I slept on top of like six pillows. This neck crick is the worst! _She rubbed her sore muscle and staggered out of bed to find some Advil. After she had downed three she decided to make a little tea and heat up that microwavable neck wrap with the little beads inside. _That ought to do the trick_.

She had just put the neck wrap back in the microwave for its third reheat when the front door opened.

"Hey, why are you still up?" Nick whispered.

Jess shrugged, still stung.

"C'mon what are you doing? What's in the microwave?" Nick asked.

"It's one of those neck wrap things that you can heat up," Jess said. "I slept wrong and now my neck is killing me."

"Oh man, I hate that," Nick stepped over to the couch and sat next to her. She wanted to turn her back on him, she was still annoyed and felt he was somehow responsible for her throbbing neck, but she couldn't make herself pull back. "Come here, I'll help you." With one quick gesture, Nick had pulled her closer and scooted back so he was leaning against the arm of the couch, and she was practically in his lap.

"No Nick, it's fine. I'm just gonna grab my neck wrap and head to bed."

"Don't be stupid, you're in pain and I'm really good at this. Just hush."

With that, he put both hands on her shoulders and started to work the kinks out, slowly but surely. He let his hands roll down her spine, teasing each vertebra all the way to her lower back and then up again. She sucked in her breath as he kneaded the tight muscles in the tops of her arms and slid his fingers in her hair, massaging her scalp. She went limp and nearly swooned when he used his fingernails to trace a little path across her neck and collarbones. She was so angry at him, but as long as he kept touching her, she could barely form a thought, let alone muster up the strength to be cross.

"Hey Jess, show me where the crick in your neck is."

She soundlessly gestured to the left, and braced herself for pain when his gentle fingers found the knot. It hurt, but as he pressed and smoothed, using his thumbs to loosen the kink, she felt the inflammation start to fade away. She didn't realize she was doing it, but she was so tired and so relieved the pain had subsided that she drooped against him. Her back was almost flush against his chest, and before she knew what was happening, he dropped a kiss on the point of her shoulder and his voice was in her ear.

"Does that feel better?"

She nodded like a puppet and sighed when Nick kissed her again, this time pressing his lips to the hollow where her neck and collarbone met.

"Good, I'm glad."

Suddenly, something snapped inside her and she whirled around, fuming.

"Well good, I'm glad you're glad. I'm just thrilled about this whole situation. You know Nick, I'm surprised you're up here with me, I know you've probably got a call to make, or at least a WASPY contact to put in your address book."

"What are you talking about?!" Nick frowned at her.

"I'm talking about the stick figure in the pencil skirt and her shiny business card slide move."

"Oh geez, that girl? She's in there all the time, she always acts like that."

"Well, you certainly weren't complaining."

"Jess, I'm the bartender, that's part of my job." Nick looked angry now. "You know, you've got some nerve calling me out on some ridiculous non-incident when Dr. Sam is still in the picture."

Jess opened her mouth to argue, but Nick cut her off. "No, don't try to wiggle out of it. It's true. You're keeping us both going while you figure stuff out. And that's ok, I told you I'd give you time, but don't expect me to sit like a statue while you double dip.

Jess felt her cheeks heat up.

"Jess, you know where I'm at with all this. Saturday night, that kiss? It was otherworldly. I'd love to see what comes next. But don't act like a jealous girlfriend when you've got two guys on a low boil. It doesn't suit you."

With that, Nick strode off to his bedroom and slammed the door. Jess was left alone on the couch with a neck wrap, now just room temperature.


	4. Chapter 4

Jess couldn't get over the scene that had just played out in the living room. _Why do we go from flirty to jealous to tender to angry so quickly?_ The answer to that unspoken question scared her perhaps more than anything. After Nick put Jess in her place, the fight had melted out of her as quickly as it had come. He was right, she thought. She had no business acting jealous when Sam was still hovering over them. _What do I do?_ Jess closed her eyes and dug deep. A memory leapt into her mind with the finesse of a cat, and she forced herself to replay it, even though she wasn't sure she wanted to.

_Sam and Jess had plans last weekend, a happy Friday night. They were going to grab an early dinner and then head to a comedy club. Jess was excited about their evening; it was a textbook date night. After her class let out that day, her plan was to head straight home and spend the afternoon primping and screening potential outfits. When she let herself into the loft, Nick was sitting at the kitchen table, typing up a storm on his laptop. _

_"Jess, hey, I'm so glad you're home! Get this; the bar is going to let me do the copy writing for their website re-design. I get to write the history section and intro the menu and they want me to come up with taglines for page headings and the menu bar. They're going to pay me a freelance fee too, so I might actually replace the bungee cord in my car with a real seat belt!"_

_Jess beamed at him. Even though he tried to diffuse his excitement with a joke at the end, she could tell he was proud. And she was proud of him._

_"Nick, that's amazing!" Jess gushed. "That's a really cool project, and copy writing is a great resume credit. You might be able to do this for other bars and restaurants!"_

_Nick grinned. "Who knows? I mean I'm kind of surprised they're letting me. But they know I was an English major and I have a lot of technical writing experience from law school. They made me do a little sample and I guess they liked it, because I'm in! It's probably just 'cause I'm cheap labor."_

_"No way, don't downplay this, it's seriously awesome. Have you started yet? Let me see."_

_Jess sat down and pulled her chair next to him so she could look over his shoulder. His writing was solid and edgy and some of his taglines were wickedly clever. He'd called the wine list "The Grape Escape" and for the cocktail menu tab, he'd labeled the button 'That's the Spirit!' For the contact information, he'd settled on 'Digs and Digits.' Jess ladled on the praise and they spent the next few hours laughing and brainstorming. When her phone rang at 6 p.m., the sound was alien and unwelcome. It was Sam, calling to cancel. He'd gotten called into the hospital and was beyond apologetic. Jess tried to muster up some disappointment that their evening was derailed. She tried to sound bummed out when he said he'd be gone all night. But the truth of the matter was, she hadn't thought about their date since she sat down at Nick's computer. Far from let down, Jess was relieved that her Friday evening playing Nick's Gal Friday was still on track. _

Snapping out of her reverie and shaking her head slowly, Jess decided to swallow some of that raw truth; that jagged honesty. She liked being with Sam. She thirsted for time with Nick. She enjoyed making plans with Sam. She craved moments with Nick. Sam made her happy, Nick drove her crazy. Sam was today, Nick was tomorrow.

She wilted under the weight of what she now saw clearly. She wanted Nick. She wanted to try, or at least see, what life had in store for them. That electric kiss had opened a fissure inside her and the last few days had pried it even wider. She couldn't play for time anymore.

So she took a deep, steadying breath and marched to Nick's darkened door. Knocking softly, she waited. Nick let her in wordlessly and made a move to turn on his bedside lamp.

"No, leave it off. It's easier to talk in the dark, let's just sit."

Nick obliged her and sat down on his bed cross legged, his back resting against the wall. Jess sat facing him with her feet tucked under her. She could just make him out in the dark. Well enough to see the outline of his face, his Roman nose and scruffy jaw. But not well enough to read his expression.

"Ok, first off, I'm sorry. You're right; I have no business analyzing who you talk to at the bar, and how you do it. It's part of your job, and even if it wasn't, you're a free agent."

"Jess," Nick said resignedly, "it's ok, it's no big deal, I shouldn't have yelled."

"You should have, and it's fine," Jess said softly.

"Well, I didn't have to say all that mean stuff about you and Sam," Nick said, hanging his head a little. "I said take your time, and that's all you're doing."

"Nick, what you said hurt, but not because it was uncalled for. It sliced a little too close to the cowardly streak I've been nursing since Saturday." Jess looked down at Nick's bedspread. It was soft and worn and she wanted to press her cheek against it, fall asleep and wake up next week. Life was hard; sometimes she wished it came with a fast forward button. "Look, it's been a hard couple of days, and I feel like I haven't told you much about what's going on in my head."

Nick let out a puff of laughter. "No, that's been a bit of an enigma. And since you usually brief me on the what and why of your daily sock choice, it's been a little disconcerting." Jess laughed. "What have we got today, anyway?" Nick teased. "Stripes? Tropical fruit? Sea Monkeys?" He reached out and gave her foot a little squeeze, sliding his thumb across her arch with delicious pressure. She squelched a whimper and went for an unconvincing giggle instead.

"Actually, these socks are real treasures. They are decorated with textured hummingbirds. See? You can feel the tulle and silk that gives their wings that extra little flash and sparkle." With that, Jess bravely grabbed Nick's hand and guided it over her instep and ankle. Nick was more than game.

"Would you look at that?" Nick said. "Three dimensional footwear. Hang on to these babies Jessica."

"Will do. I know a good thing when I see it." Jess eyes were adjusting to the dark and she looked into Nick's face just then. The mixture of pain, longing and undisputable tenderness she saw in his eyes urged her on. "I really do, Nick. And that's why I think you're right. I think we owe it to ourselves to just see, just see what happens between us if we give it a shot."

Nick hadn't let go of her ridiculous, hummingbird sock-clad foot, and she felt his grip tighten a little, but he stayed quiet.

"Look Nick, that kiss the other night, you know I was right there with you. It was like something out of a story; I felt it all the way to my toes. I want more with you, but I can't lie to you, I'm scared to death." Jess took a shaky breath and blinked back a few hot tears. "You are my person, you know? And I've got to have that with you, no matter what. But I realize now that keeping our friendship in a little, vacuum sealed, waterproof container, far away from anything risky might be a worse gamble that trying something new. So, yeah, that's where I'm at," Jess finished lamely.

Nick cleared his throat and sat a little taller. His silhouette was strangely impressive in the dark, and her words had given him a straight backed confidence that radiated off him in waves.

"Well, that's good to hear Jessica," Nick rasped, his voice just a touch louder than a whisper. "Because I don't think I could have waited another minute to try this again."

Before her brain fully grasped the meaning of his words, Nick grabbed her waist and slid her forward so their knees touched. He lifted her face with both hands, gave her one, heart stopping look, and claimed her mouth for the second time. This kiss wasn't as hurried as the last one, but it was nearly as desperate. He stroked her cheek and smoothed his hands down her back as the kiss went on and on. She wanted to be closer to him, and almost as if he were reading her mind, at that very moment he half tugged, half lifted her until she was sitting in his lap. His arms wrapped around her now and she slid her fingers into his hair as she put everything she had into the kiss.

Something cold pushed its way into Jess's mind and reluctantly, she pulled back from Nick, gasping for air and resting a hand on his chest. "Wait, Nick, I haven't talked to Sam yet. This isn't right. And I feel like it's headed somewhere we might not be able to pull back from."

Nick sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know you're right Jess." Nick said as she slid off his lap. He rubbed his forehead and took a few deep breaths. "I'm not a fan of overlap."

"I'll call him first thing tomorrow and make things right," Jess promised. "Then, maybe you and I could talk some more?"

Nick laughed. "I wouldn't have it any other way. These last few chats have been more than illuminating."

Jess blushed, but she knew he couldn't see her. "So, I guess I'll leave you in peace then?"

"You can leave Jess, but I'm guessing from now on, when it comes to you and me, peace might be hard to come by," Nick teased. "Goodnight Jess. Thanks for the sock."

Jess noticed her bare right foot and laughed at the scrap of fabric now dangling between Nick's thumb and forefinger. "But now I'm going to have one cold tootsie!"

"Hey," Nick shrugged, "if you want it back, you know where to find it. See you in the morning Jess."

As Jess picked a path toward her room, she wondered if she'd get any sleep tonight. Her heart was beating faster than a hummingbird's.

* * *

_Thanks for the reviews! I love feedback. More to come later this week!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Miffed_ was the word she would use to describe Sam's reaction to Jess' confession. He wasn't pleased. He was irritated. His pride was wounded but he wasn't hurt. In fact, she wasn't even sure he was angry. Jess blew her bangs off her forehead as she straightened her room. When she met Sam for coffee this morning, she hadn't given him every detail of her rapidly unfolding situation with Nick, but she was honest with him. She told Sam that she and Nick had a truthful conversation about their feelings and wanted to try things out, together. At the end of her explanation, Sam sighed, dropped his head, and raked his fingers through his hair.

_"You know, I'm not really surprised. It's always the ones you underestimate. He seemed like such a good guy, but I guess that's because he was a good guy, for you. Should have known." Sam stood to leave, "Good luck Jess."_

Nick hadn't been in the common area when she got back from her coffee break-up, so she was able to brew herself a cup of strong tea and reset her emotions. After a hot shower, some caffeine and a carefully chosen confidence-inducing outfit, Jess felt ready. She wasn't sure what for, but she was ready, all the same.

Jess was pretty sure Nick had been lurking in his room for the majority of the morning. He was working the evening shift that night and he knew Jess's class didn't meet until 6, so they were bound to bump into each other sooner or later. She didn't think he was avoiding her, but she was fairly certain he was scared to make the first move. After she heard a distinct rustle behind his door, she decided to put him out of his misery.

"Hey Nick?" she called, knocking. "Are you hungry? I'm in the mood for a weird, too late for breakfast, too early for lunch snack. You in?"

Nick appeared in his doorway a millisecond later. Jess smiled to herself, thinking about the old cliché that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach.

"Yes I am, I'm a huge fan of non-classy brunch snacks," Nick laughed. "What's on the menu?

"I was thinking toasted peanut butter and jelly bagels? And maybe some orange slices. Want to be the sous chef?"

"I'm game if that means I wield the knife."

Jess laughed. "Perfect. You slice the oranges, I'll toast the bagels."

Nick and Jess bustled around the kitchen, making a much bigger deal out of their snack than was necessary. Nick cut up four oranges and Jess laid out three different nut butters, jams and orange marmalade. As they worked, they both pretended not to notice all the grinning, teasing and laughter. They fought, but not too hard, to keep their palpable excitement under wraps. It was easier to settle into this if they had a task to work on.

"So Jess, when it comes to peanut butter, what's your poison, creamy or crunchy?"

"Oh my God, creamy hands down! Crunchy peanut butter tastes like it's full of gravel or thumb tacks or dead bugs. I hate it!"

"I beg to differ, Jessica!" Nick said with mock outrage. "Crunchy peanut butter has more flavor. It's rough and manly; it's more sophisticated, the clear winner!"

"I'd rather die than eat crunchy peanut butter. Creamy is smooth and tasty. It's good on bread, apples, bananas, graham crackers. It's versatile and delicious. How can you argue with that?"

"Jess," Nick argued wagging his finger at her. "Creamy peanut butter is a toddler staple. It's all right for my grandma, and that's about it. Try your argument again when I'm out of teeth."

Jess laughed, scooping a generous dollop onto her index finger. "I don't know Nick, how can you be opposed to something this perfect? C'mon, open your mind, come over to the right side," she teased advancing on him, grinning widely.

Nick's eyes darkened just a shade when she stopped in front of him. They were almost toe to toe and suddenly the air between them was humming with more than just laughter. "Jess, you should be careful about issuing challenges," Nick said quietly, "I really do love a dare." With that, he snagged her wrist, lifted her hand, and closed his lips around her pointer finger. Her knees threatened to give way and little bubbles of excitement fizzed throughout her body as he drew back, taking every trace of peanut butter with him. He swallowed, fixed her with a thoughtful look and said, "You know Jess, maybe you're onto something."

Smiling to himself, he turned back to his oranges.

Jess staggered over to the toaster and plated the bagels just as Nick had arranged the fruit in a bowl. _This is insane. I feel like I'm going to explode! How did we keep this corked up for a year and a half?_

Nick and Jess put their spoils on the table and got to work topping off their bagels. "So, I talked to Sam this morning," Jess said in a voice she hoped sounded casual.

Nick stopped spreading jelly on his bagel, but didn't look up. "Oh? So, how was that?"

"It was ok," Jess said. "He wasn't happy, but who is when you tell them you're moving on?"

Nick put the bagel down and looked at Jess properly. His eyes were hopeful, but she could tell he wasn't willing to give too much away just yet. "So, you're ready to move on?"

"I think I am," Jess said, meeting his gaze. "But I don't want to be reckless, Nick. Let's not rush this. I don't want this to be something that's wild and crazy and then burns itself out. I was kind of hoping we could do this right," she finished, her cheeks turning pink.

"Look Jess, I know that I've acted a little impulsive over the last couple days. Grabbing you and kissing you, slurping peanut butter off your finger like some kind of Don Juan wannabe," Nick hid his face for a second and Jess laughed.

"But I'm right there with you Jess. Don't get me wrong, I want you. I've been thinking about all of _that _for the better part of a year. But that's not all that's on my mind. I want this one to stick, and I agree. That's means doing things in the right order, building a little bit at a time. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop thinking about the other stuff," he finished with a grin. "Just, you know, for the record."

"Please don't," Jess half whispered, her face flaming, "and I won't either."

And for the first time, it was Jess who scooted her chair closer to Nick and pressed her lips to his in a sweet kiss. It was unhurried and electric and full of promise. As she slid her hands up his chest and around his neck, as he turned in his seat to wrap his arms around her tiny waist, the bagels got cold; and the oranges were forgotten.

A few days had passed and Nick and Jess started the slow dance the defined the beginning of something. There had been more chatting and laughter. They ran errands together they used to do alone. There had been a little cuddling; a handful of kisses and even one, steamy good night embrace. But everything was unfolding slowly. They hadn't fessed up to the roommates yet, it was a weird subject to broach. But by Saturday, their poker faces were starting to show some wear.

It was pretty quiet around the loft, Winston was downloading music, Schmidt was reading the Wall Street journal, and Nick and Jess were sitting on the couch watching _Overboard_. They kept snickering and bending their heads together to share private commentary until Schmidt slapped his newspaper on the table with a deafening crack.

"Ok, what the hell is going on?"

Nick, Jess and Winston jumped and looked at him blankly, but Jess felt a little flush start to creep up her neck.

"What are you talking about Schmidty?"

"What am I talking about Nick?" Schmidt mimicked. "Well I'm glad you asked, because I'd love to enlighten you. For the past week, you and Jess have been acting insane. Nick, you spent last weekend hiding in your room, and now you can't wait to help Jess pick out a new jewelry tree at the mall? I actually saw you make your bed yesterday and I watched you replace the toilet paper roll without being asked. Jess, you jump when Nick's name comes up in conversation. Thursday night, you told me you were going to spend the evening at the bar because 'it was a good place to grade papers.' You haven't worn your glasses in three days and you brought plaid print cupcake papers at the store last night. Don't deny it."

Jess and Nick tried to look baffled. Winston stopped downloading and narrowed his eyes at the two of them.

"I don't make a habit of saying this, but Schmidt's right, you two are acting super weird." Winston frowned. "Nick was singing Evan and Jaron's 'Crazy for the Girl' in the shower this morning. And yesterday I saw Jess reapply her lip gloss like 12 times, in between sips of tea."

"None of that is noteworthy!" Jess argues. "Who cares about any of that?!"

"Good God, look how you are sitting right now!" Schmidt exclaimed, pointing.

Nick had his arm across the back of the couch and somehow during the course of the movie, Jess had scooted closer, her feet tucked under her, her knees leaning against Nick's lap. They looked at each other and laughed, this battle was lost.

"Ok, so things are different between us."

"I knew it!" Schmidt shouted. "The sexual tension in here is thicker than a waxy wedge of Gouda. Are you two sleeping together?"

"No Schmidt, it's not like that," Nick said with an embarrassed smile. "Jess and I just decided to try things out."

"Like, as a couple?" Winston half accused. "You two? That's crazy! Jess owns 19 skirts with polka dots. She once made tiny hamburger cookies out of Nilla Wafers, Thin Mints and colored icing. I heard her practicing a song last weekend to help explain the "I versus me" rule to her adult education class. And Nick? You wear gray t-shirts almost exclusively. You haven't called your Mom in 29 days. You gave your nephew Jack Daniels soaked beef jerky for his 10th birthday. How is this happening?"

"Winston's concern is legitimate!" Schmidt railed. "The loft dynamics have irrevocably shifted. If this goes south, it's Neil all over again. And Jess, what if Nick's poor grooming habits start to rub off on you? Perish the thought. Winston, I need a cool compress for my head."

"You're on your own with that buddy," Winston replied.

"Ok, both of you shut up," Nick said levelly. Jess chanced a look into his face; he was dead calm. "You're both just talking in circles. You know none of that superficial crap means anything. Winston, have you ever dated your clone? Schmidt, were you and Cece cut from the exact same cloth?"

Winston and Schmidt looked slightly abashed and mumbled, "No."

"Damn right you weren't! Look, I'm going to man up here an admit something. You both had to know I've had a soft spot for Jess since she moved in. But lately, it's been more than that. It has _evolved_, to use one of your favorite words Schmidt. And the other night, I just couldn't keep it inside for another second. So I took a risk, and we both took a little time to sort it out, and here we are. It's not going to ruin anything, for anybody, ok?" He dropped his arm from the back of the couch and slid it around Jess's shoulders in earnest. "So get onboard, or lock it up. And get used to seeing this." Nick tilted up Jess' chin, and dropped a single, heart stopping kiss on her surprised lips.

"Ok, I'm not sure I can handle this re-born Nicolas Wordsworth Shakespeare Miller with the flowery speech and the public displays of affection." Schmidt grumbled, even though he tossed Jess an amused look en route to his room. "If this is what love looks like, may God strike me blind!" he finished.

Jess, feeling uneasy, opened her mouth to protest or joke over Schmidt's use of the 'L' word, worried Nick might panic and abandon ship. But Nick got there first.

"Who knows?" he said softly, and mostly to Jess. "We'll just have to see."

* * *

_This story is complete, but I'll start another one later this week. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! Also, I'm new to this, so I forgot to mention that I don't own New Girl or any of its three dimensional, well-crafted characters._


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